- I am a goose

 

- I have a fluffy white butt

​

- My fluffy white butt makes me so buoyant that I have trouble diving underwater

 

- If you try to feed me rice, I will not see it and honk angrily at you to feed me more  

​

- I honk and hiss but a kid nearly tackled me once so all I have going for me is intimidation

​

- I am usually nice unless the local swan bites my tail feathers, at which point I start honking wildly and bite other ducks 

​

- I literally poop where I sleep. People have watched me do it.

​